Sir, please approach the mount, and place your right arm into the sling.

Sir, please do your best. You need to approach the mount and put your right arm into the attached sling. If you do speak English, please let us know. We have operators on the line, able to assist you, se habla espanol?

Being so drowsy, it all felt like a dream. And the place I was felt like it made no sense. The voices were clear, and loud, but seemed to come from nowhere.

Just a quite dark room, I was standing in, with a vaguely human shaped indentation in the wall in front of me.

And a hole where my right arm might go.

Yes sir, we can see you have noticed the mount. Thank God we didn't have to call in Isabella to speak Spanish to you for further instruction, she is still getting used to the ropes. Please approach the mount and put your arm through the sling.

The room was so dark and otherworldly, I thought it might be a dream. So I decided to sit down in another corner of the room, and wait it out.

Perhaps I would wake up.

Sir, you are certainly entitled to your sleep before initial processing, and we encourage you to take as much rest as you need. Please enjoy this complimentary rest package.

The wall behind me suddenly made a noise, like something was rumbling down it, and from a small one-way flap, out popped a small, shrink-wrapped package.

I held the package, not knowing what to expect, but it seemed so innocuous. I began to rip at the shrink-wrap, and found a few small items...

A compression wrapped airline blanket, two single litre bottles of water, and a small prepackaged ham sandwich.

Apologies Sir, do let us know if you have any dietary preferences. We also have vegan and gluten-free options if you prefer.

What a strange dream I was having. Trapped in a dark room, with a vaguely English disembodied voice asking me to 'approach the mount, and put my arm through the sling' while treating me like an airline passenger.

Off to sleep I go.